Never Did

I used to scoff at people like us
So in love with one another
It used to make me sick
Made me want to drag them
Kicking and screaming into reality
To show them that love is nothing but
A child's fanatasy.

But I never did...

I used to envy those couples
All of them with someone to care for
While I had no one
Oh, how I wanted them to disappear
To leave me in my blissful solitude
Immune to the urges of human touch and need

But they never did...

I used to despise  your voice
All the hope, love, and trust in it
It felt like nails on a chalk board
With how I  used to be programed
I wanted to grab your tanned throat
And rip out the offending organs that
Allowed you to spew out love's praise

But I never did...

Never could commit that level of hatred and sin
But I used to be able to
What have you people done?

I used to hate your touch
Scorching my icy skin with your warmth
Flowing through my veins thawing them
I wanted to cut off your hands
For the oddussity of touching me as a lover
For giving me the need for contact
That you awakend in me

But I never did...

I never did, never ever did
Any of what I wanted
I let you crawl your way into me
Poisoning my heart with your love
All systems down, my walls crumbled
By the tenderness you've dared to show me
My protective sheild gone I'm vunerable to you
You could've broken me so easy

But you never did...

Now I'm int the child's fanatasy called love
With you guiding me carefully, tenderly
Like a favorite fragile doll
I'm all your's in this child's fanatasy
Help make sure I don't awake
Back to my cold reality
Now that I tasted love I want more
Give me the love drug so I can stay
With you till our bubble breaks

But you never did...